I’m a little bummed about life. Life is great, don’t get me wrong. But I’m bummed that I only get to do this once. The Hindus believe that you get to go through life many times, each time improving your state until finally you reach perfection and no longer have to be reincarnated. At least that is my understanding not being Hindu myself. The problem is that you don’t remember what happened last time. I don’t subscribe to that philosophy, but I wish I could go through life just one more time with what I know now. I’m sure I would make some of the same mistakes, but it would be great to have a blank slate and avoid some of the same pitfalls.
And enjoy what I was too silly to enjoy last time. Now that I know what it is like to be an adult, I want to truly enjoy my childhood and the innocent joys of being young. I want to experience the thrills of having a fully functional body as a teenager. I don’t think I ever pushed my limits and now that I have more and they seem to be closing in on me, I long for the days of not knowing my physical boundaries. You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
It was great falling in love as a kid. The delirious heights were wonderful. The lows were a sweet melancholy which was easily filled with music. It would be great to have the energy and fun of being young with the perspective and restraint of years. Impulsive mistakes would be curbed and a few wise words that cost a lifetime to learn would make the difference between a train wreck and a bruise. Experience that cost me dearly but never had a practical application in my lifetime would finally be worth the price I paid to acquire it.
People are creatures of habit, however. It is likely that once we start enjoying our youth again, we would make most of the same mistakes. Or worse – some of the greatest joys in my life have come from the greatest pain. I might mistakenly avoid the pain and deny myself the joy – for example: my children.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. The fact is that I don’t get a mulligan in life. This is the only one. I enjoy childhood through the fog of memory. But I am blessed with children who are going through their first and only time and I enjoy it with them. Hopefully they will listen to my wisdom when they need it unlike the wisdom I disregarded in my youth. Sorry, Dad. I understand now…..
